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Fans on the Street

Yankee fans and Red Sox fans: What are they thinking?

It would be a gross understatement to say that Yankee fans and Red Sox fans are opinionated. Many believe the opinions of Yankee
and Red Sox fans are just gross. Either way, the opinions deserve to be heard. Maybe.

Question: Who do you predict will be the National League East, West, and Central divisions?

Yank Fan:
What you're really saying is who do we think the Yankees will face in the World Series?
My money's on the Phillies, I like what they've done to build up their pitching, but I'm
not worried since we've already proved we can beat them.

Sox Fan:
Well it doesn't really matter as long as we go through the Bronx to play whatever NL team
makes it to October; I mean, winning the World Series again will be wicked sweet, but
now that THEY have bought another ring, we have to beat THEM to get THERE, otherwise
it's a hollow championship.

Question: Avid fans attend a lot of games, have you noticed any increases or decreases in attendance
to act as clues in determining the state of the economic recovery? Or any trends that indicate a
recovery is in progress?

Yank Fan:
Well, I'm always amazed at the amount of Sox fans they still let into Yankee Stadium, I mean,
I understand every team needs to make money, well, the Yankees don't need to make money,
but it's good they do, but they should draw the line at Sox fans; I think the best strategy would
be to take their money by selling them tickets and then not letting them in!

Sox Fan:
Well, the Sox are always at a disadvantage because of the limited seating capacity of Fenway,
so you can't judge largely because there are only so many seats, but also since if the ballpark
was bigger it would still be full because it's still the Sox!

Question: Being a loyal fan and assuming your favorite team is the hometown team, what cultural
and culinary sites would you recommend tourists visit while in your town?

Yank Fan:
Oh, that's easy! I'd send them to the best restaurant on the city, it's on 59th Street: Mickey Mantle's!
Great atmosphere, cool artwork on the wall. Food's good, but you really don't go to this restaurant
to eat, if you know what I mean?

Sox Fan:
Simple, for food have a Fenway Frank, if you want to see the sights sit on top of the Green Monster. Interested in local culture? Buy and wear a Red Sox cap. Like history? Go see where the Reverse the Curse sign used to hang - over on Storrow Drive! Ha!

Question: What is the thing you admire most about your rivals?

Yank Fan:
I guess it would have to be the fact that they are not us; I mean, I can't imagine how awful it
would be if we were them and us and they were actually us instead of them; I have to admire
them not so much for who they are, could never do that, but more for who they are not.

Sox Fan:
I can only admire how much they suck, we have a saying in New England, that essentially says,
“Yankees Suck”, so I can only admire, no stand in awe, of how much the Yankees Suck. I mean
do you have any idea how hard you have to work to suck that much?

Question: Not including anyone on the roster of your favorite team, who are some of the
other players you like?

Yank Fan:
Wow, that's hard. I'd have to say I like the Angel's Matsui. And the Braves got a great
centerfielder in the kid Cabraera; and the Tigers got a great rally starter in Johnny Damon.

Sox Fan:
Well, I can tell you who I hate, the clown Ramirez out in LA and now that Damon is not on the
Yankees anymore I can work my way back into liking him, but I'll never stop hating Clemmens
and Boggs.

Question: What are some of the other sports you like and follow other than baseball?

Yank Fan:
Well, it varies, I think the New York Giants, they have not won as many championships as the
Yankees, of course, but in terms of stature, history, and all those tangible intangibles, they
most remind of the Yankees.

Sox Fan:
I follow all the major sports in the Pats, the Bruins and the Celtics.

Question: Assuming or pretending you someday have a grown up son or daughter, what would you
do if your child informed you they planned to marry a fan of the opposite persuasion?

Yank Fan:
Well, I would immediately accept him for what he is – an idiot – but work very hard to make certain
my grandchildren were Yankee fans, also since the bride's family traditionally pays for the wedding,
I would gladly do it and you bet your ass the reception would be at one of the restaurants
inside Yankee Stadium.

Sox Fan:
That could never happen, No kid of mine would ever marry a Yankee fan, but on the one in a million
chance he or she suffered some kind of brain damage or temporary insanity I would have him or her
declared unfit and committed to some sort of asylum institution in Massachusets that had some kind of Yankee deprogramming; if that didn't work I'd have to pull aside the young man or woman intending
to marry my kid and kill them.

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