Buy Read Learn Yankee Fans Red Sox Fans Inside Pitch Fan On The Street Links Contact
Trey Story Yankee Fans in History Sox Fans in History Mirth of A Nation Bill of Rights Stories Gallery

Yes, it is offensive, obnoxious and makes Red Sox Nation appear as nothing more than uneducated rabble.

It's debatably obscene and most definitely family unfriendly.

Regardless of how it looks and sounds, it's in the blood. You all heard parents try to teach it to kids as their first words as often as you've seen concerned parents cover the delicate ears of their precious offspring when exposed to the chant.

It's in Sox fans' genes and imbedded in their souls whether they like it or not or choose to acknowledge it on any level.

In spite of all the angst and mixed emotions, it's a part of the language and securely ensconced in the lexicon of the Nation.

So, just yell “Yankees Suck” everywhere all the time!

Use it as a greeting! When meeting on the street, exchange “Yankees Suck” instead of “Hello.”
Upon departing, use it instead of “Goodbye.”

Perhaps it can be used in place of “Please,” “Thank you” and “You're welcome” as well?

If viewed properly, it stands as nothing more than a simple phrase that ingratiates itself over time as its inherent acerbic nature is worn down over time like waves beating against the walls of a semi submerged Yankee Stadium.

Eventually, it can lose all vindictiveness and become as commonly accepted a phrase issued as easily as “God Bless You” is after a sneeze. It can even replace “God Bless You” after a sneeze.

“Yankees Suck” has practical applications outside daily usage and inside official circles. Perhaps the police can yell “Yankees Suck!” instead of “Stop, Police!” It will stop people dead in their tracks in Boston simply by getting their attention.

On the other hand, it may be smarter to work it into the Miranda rights:
"You have the right to remain silent, but feel free to shout Yankees Suck at any time
Anything you say (especially “Yankees Suck”) can and will be used against you while in Yankee Stadium.
You have the right to have a fellow Sox fan present during current and future games at Yankee Stadium while chanting “Yankees Suck.”
If you cannot afford a ticket, one may be awarded to you free of charge by a generous Sox fan if they wish."

On a more personal and emotional level, we can include it in wedding vows directly after the “To have and to hold as long as you both shall live” part and before “I do.”

How's this sound: “With this championship ring, I thee wed and take you to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part while the Yankees Suck.”

After marriage, children almost always follow, so with that in mind let's update that old annual standard:
"Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear girl or boy, and the Yankees Suck too."

Seeing as Sox fans are generally God fearing and worshiping folks, perhaps it can be incorporated into Confession? As part of receiving absolution, a priest can instruct a repentant soul to say three Our Fathers, four Hail Mary's and five Yankees Sucks

On a national level, it may be possible to put the Pledge of Allegiance controversy to rest once and for all:

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America , one nation where the Yankees Suck, indivisible with
liberty and justice for all.

Some day, when the end comes for us all, a fitting epitaph strategically placed between name and birth and death dates, “Yankees Suck” should grace our tombstones for all eternity. As everyone knows, Heaven can only be Heaven if the Yankees Suck up there too; as for Hell, it is the one true place where the Yankees don't suck and are welcomed home with open arms…nah, the Yankees Suck in Hell too!

Buy Read Learn Yankee Fans Red Sox Fans Inside Pitch Fan On The Street Links Contact
Fandamonium Copyright 2004© Copyright 2009© Legal